The perils of writing about oneself

Many people are of the opinion that writing about oneself is a form of narcissism (self-absorption) a word bandied around everywhere lately, although I doubt many people are aware of the Greek myth from which the word comes. In one of its various forms (Ovid’s Metamorphosis, BK. III) Narcissus, the son of the river god Cephissus, was noted for his beauty. His mother, the nymph Liriope, was told by a blind seer that he would have a long life provided he never recognized himself. However, his rejection of the love of the nymph Echo drew upon him the vengeance of the gods. He fell in love with his own reflection in the waters of a spring and pined away.

The modern increase in self-centredness is not surprising since the advent of social media and reality television. There has also been a recent upsurge in the popularity of the ‘literature of reality’ now described as ‘creative non-fiction’, including memoir writing.

There are those who describe the excess of introspection—a vital part of memoir writing —as self-indulgent. James Woolcott, journalist, novelist and cultural critic for Vanity Fair magazine wrote as far back as 1997 in Me, Myself and I that people who wrote this genre were ‘navel gazers’ and that this form of writing was ‘a sickly transfusion whereby the weakling sensitive voice of fiction is inserted into the beery carcass of non-fiction.’

Although introspection can be a powerful way of connecting with others, it can at times, be tedious for there are some writers who are whiny, boring people with their own agendas especially in the glut of victim/vengeful memoirs that feature self-pitying, anguished, accusing and bitter voices. Any real rubbish-spewing is probably okay in the shitty first draft that most of us should, and do write, but must be edited in subsequent drafts. A writer has to remember the reader if they want to get published.

There is no doubt that as Patti Miller wrote in her 2007 The Memoir Book: ‘Writing about the self is one of the most demanding journeys you can take. It requires, honesty, ruthlessness and courage’. Although, the pitfalls of self-indulgence are certainly real, I subscribe to Socrates’ view that ‘an unexamined life is not worth living’. Otherwise, how can we ever hope to understand others if we don’t understand ourselves. And writing our personal stories is a way of doing that.

I always hope that what I’ve written may resonate with a reasonable percentage of readers and that they might change the way they view their own lives. Perhaps as James Hillman once suggested ‘to imagine them with more romance and fictional flair’ (The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling ) or, by seeing themselves as a hero on a mythic journey (Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousands Faces).