A reflection on crossroads

I wonder how many of you out there are like me?

When I read a book, whether fiction or non-fiction, I’m fascinated by significant choice points or crossroads in the lives of the various characters, including historical personalities. How and why did they chose a particular path or road? What were the repercussions of their choices? Did they regret the path they took? What did their choice reveal about their character? I’ve spent years examining and writing about the crossroads in my own life to make sense of things. It’s why I’ve included the image of two roads diverging in a wood and the last verse of Robert Frost’s poem The Road Not Taken.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Although we are faced with constant choices throughout our lives, at intervals along our path we come to significant crossroads and transition points. But how often have we doubted our ability to choose. According to Gail Sheehy in her book Pathfinders, ‘Many of us have chosen by refusing to risk moving at all; others have made a choice by default or been unaware even that they stood at a crossroads. But some among us have recognised the crossroad and seen in it the path to another beginning, an opportunity to make ourselves more’.

Some choices are made after long and careful thought; some are impulsive especially when we are young. Others are made when an annunciation of some kind occurs, or perhaps via a metaphorical ‘bat to the head’ when we have consistently ignored our niggling inner voice. Sometimes a life needs to be turned completely upside down to push someone along one particular path or over a threshold. Do we take the victim road or have the courage to change everything and begin a new and more exciting journey?

Standing at a crossroad can seem intimidating at times and for some people results in emotional torment. What if I make the wrong decision? Choose the wrong path? To remain stagnant out of fear though is far worse than making a decision. Even when we do make a decision and explore a new path, sometimes the way is heavily rutted. And we have to be prepared for opposition and a certain amount of alienation from groups we might have once belonged to.

When approaching any fork in the road, we need to ask ourselves soul-searching questions; to understand the symbolic meaning of our past and present experiences; be aware of our dreams; be observant for signs and, most importantly, tap into our intuition.

The way we react to these major choice points and our decision to choose one way over another says a lot about our character.

Some of my choices have been unconventional within the context of a particular time and place and required incredible courage but once taken made all the difference in my life. Some have been risky, dangerous and downright silly, leading me well outside my comfort zone, and forcing me to learn valuable lessons. But I cannot say that I regret any of the decisions I made at crucial crossroads.